My partner has BPD. She can be unfathomably unkind. Sometimes she just wakes up and chooses violence.
And there is no escape that I want. I love her. I accept it.
But the little voice in me asks, “Don’t you think you deserve it?”
Violence mixed into love is all I’ve known. And so I feel safe & at home in the chaos.
But is it healthy? Is it fair?
I feel like it’s making me kinder, but is it also eating away at my peace?